This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.
But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).
When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus. (Matthew 1: 18-24)
It's December 12th, and for the first year of my adult life, I am not in a frenzy of activity preparing for Christmas. No cards have been stamped, die-cut or glued (although I did give my students some of the extras I made last year), and wrapping has been replaced with packing up our entire lives...for the second time in six 1/2 months.
Instead of baking ten or fifteen varieties of cookies and candy, I'm cooking fried rice to use up all of the fresh vegetables. Arranging transport to the airport has replaced driving circles around the mall parking lot. Yes, there will be a few gifts for our loved ones, but nothing like the pile of debt we've seen beneath the tree in years past. Instead of finding trendy gifts that are on the wish lists, we're looking for cool Chinese gifts that won't make our suitcases overweight. And speaking of the tree--we don't have one. No trip to the country to cut down the perfect pine, no fragrant needles, no decorations, no lights in the window of our safe, cozy home. Nobody will be coming to visit, because we won't have a home until 2011. And to visit others--well, that's also a challenge because we will have no car. The Grinch of Christmas Present has whisked away all of our material trappings, leaving us with nothing we require to celebrate the big day.
I should be depressed. Christmas Past was defined by what I could cook, bake, decorate, prepare, create, and buy...sure, we practiced with the church choir for the annual Christmas Eve service, but not without grumbling about how late we had to stay learning the new songs, how all our family was far away while we were at the church, how maybe next year we'd quit the choir and go home for Christmas Eve. Frenzied activity typically eclipsed the advent wreath by week two or so, and the advent devotions were just one more item to check off of the to-do list each Sunday.
Instead I feel a profound sense of gratitude and peace. When we came to China, we fully expected to be away from our loved ones for Christmas. The plan was to go home over Spring Festival, to celebrate Chinese New Year as far from the crowds as possible with a late "family Christmas" somewhere in Upstate New York.
Yet here we are, preparing to go home and see our family. Before, during, and after Christmas, we will be with family and friends, and yes, we've even arranged to sing with the church choir on Christmas Eve. Ahh, family, the real meaning of Christmas, even if the warm glow won't be from my own personally beribboned and arranged tree, even if the cookies and pies will be baked by others, even of the gifts all have to weigh less than 10 ounces...at least we will be with family. That's what Christmas is all about.
Except--it's really not. Nobody loves their family more than I do, and it is definitely a dream come true for me to go home and hug them all repeatedly. But while thinking about the gifts, wandering through the streets and markets of Beijing looking for the "cool Chinese thing" for each kid, packing and arranging and wondering if I might need to mail home more of my clothing so that the gifts can fit in our bags...
I realized the source of my gratitude, the identity of my peace. It is simply this: regardless of what I bake or don't bake, cook or don't cook, buy or don't buy, neither I nor anyone else can top the best Christmas, the finest gift, the most spectacular light and music show...the humble starlit stable holding the gift of immortality in a tiny feeding trough while all of heaven's hosts shouted "Glory!" All of my striving and stressing during Christmas Past never created the perfect Christmas. We all know being home will be a fabulous "gift", for me, AJ, our family & friends... but even this extreme joy can't top the original.
My prayer this Christmas is that you stop. Give up. You can't top the best Christmas ever, so you might as well just rest in the love that made that day possible. Tell it to your children, show them your peace, let them unwrap the gift of immortality that was given to all who will accept it more than two thousand years ago--on a date nobody recognized as important enough to record (probably NOT December 25th) and breathe. We'll see you all soon--on the other side of the bike lane.
