Almost anyone reading this probably knows by now that AJ & I have decided to cut our year in China short & return to Albany after six months. You may wonder why we "gave up," or may already know the much-discussed details of the job that wasn't what I expected, the homesickness that never went away, the inability to truly help people here because what I actually signed up for, instead of a service to orphans, was a very intense job that just happens to be in another country. Instead of working to minister to others, I found myself working to make money for a business that happens to be run by Christians. The sacrifice to stay finally outweighed the benefits of being here the day I realized that there was no limit to my classroom hours, and that the orphans would probably have to learn without me when the moneymaking (read "middle-aged Caucasian") teacher was assigned to the "paying customers".
I'm here to say that, at least until we leave, I'm done talking about it. I love all of my family & friends for their sympathy, their understanding, and most of all their excitement at our potential return--not to mention their help finding a place to live, a job, or whatever else we may need when we get there. But it feels like I've wasted enough of what should be a crazy exciting adventure complaining and trying to figure out what went wrong.
So, for the next 35 days, or until the company shows me the airport (whichever comes first), I plan to appreciate what we have here. After all is said and done, even the "paying customers" are people who need the Lord, and to whom I can show kindness and love even if it's against the law to tell them why I am doing it. The children, their parents, and the other people who surround us every day deserve my wholehearted effort to make the most of what time we have left.
I want to begin by making a list of things I love about China...OK, at least about Beijing, and the people I've met here. Lots of bloggers talk about negative aspects of the expat experience--I want people to know that there's good wrapped up in the insanity. From today until I leave here, every time I write, I will tell you one thing that I am incredibly thankful for about THIS place, where I am, at THIS time in my life.
There are people here who serve others without a thought, accepting little pay for selfless work. Today I'm home sick and the cleaning lady came. The word "ayi" means "auntie", and this is what she told me her name was. Let me tell you, this woman, although she's my age or younger, takes care of me exactly like a member of the family. If AJ or I are doing any type of housework--dishes, laundry, you name it--when she walks in the door, she shoos us away and takes over. She cleans everything in the house from top to bottom for the equivalent of around $15 a week. It usually takes her about six hours.
I have a hard time looking at her hands, because they're so red and puffy from constantly scrubbing things and being in water. It's a guilty feeling for someone who grew up in a poor household to make someone else do what I should probably do myself--and she does it well, with a joyful heart.
One Wednesday I came home to find a 50 yuan bill--all she makes in a day--on the dining room table, and a jar of night cream missing from the bathroom shelf. Saturday I waited for her to see if she had left the money--she pantomimed dusting the shelf, knocking the cream off and breaking it on the floor. I tried to return the money--but she refused, finding money less important than doing the right thing.
Today she noticed that we've taken down all of our family pictures and are packing a few things...she pantomimed an airplane & waved to me...looking really sad. I see her as the woman whose hands my housework destroys..she sees herself as my ayi. It's a really humbling experience.
Sunday after church, AJ & I stopped at a bike repair shop he knows of to get my back tire fixed & reattach my basket after a piece of metal had pierced the tube...and the basket came loose from being dumped to the ground one too many times. (Different story.) The repair guy was really good--he patched the tire, found bolts for the basket, and had it all done in about fifteen minutes. When AJ pulled out his wallet & asked how much, the guy held up three fingers. AJ gave him a 20 and a 10, and the guy just shook his head and laughed. He took the ten, pulled seven out of his pocket, and handed AJ his change. The man's time and expertise cost us about 45 cents.
So to those people who say things like, "In Beijing, it's not a matter of if you'll get ripped off, but when," I say...try looking at the other side for a minute. In my experience, most people here are good, honest, hardworking folks just like the rest of us...who sacrifice very much for very little. Today, I am thankful for the good people of China, who treat even ignorant foreigners with dignity and respect.
